"Terrified Twin Tamales"
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 35
"Taking a Dip"Ingredients:
French dip sandwich
Au jus
Macaroni salad
There are three secrets to a perfect French dip. First, have bread with a hard outer crust and a good sandwich shape. I use baguette because it's really cheap and perfect for this job.
Second, have a good cut of meat. I had a roast from the previous night that was served just above "alive" in terms of how well done it was. Slice that shit THIN. Like, paper thin if you can. Shave it.
Third, au jus. I use a mix (cheap, easy) and throw my extremely thin shaved beef in the pan. Then I add some onions, mushrooms and rosemary. Let the beef sit in there long enough to make it hot, and then pour some au jus through a strainer into a mug/cup/whatever.
You can also add corn starch and flour to au jus mix and make it into a fast ad-hoc gravy. Way easier than fucking around with a hot broiler pan and a whisk. Just boil water, add mix, adjust to consistency, the end. A sauce will make or break a dish very easily.
French dip sandwich
Au jus
Macaroni salad
There are three secrets to a perfect French dip. First, have bread with a hard outer crust and a good sandwich shape. I use baguette because it's really cheap and perfect for this job.
Second, have a good cut of meat. I had a roast from the previous night that was served just above "alive" in terms of how well done it was. Slice that shit THIN. Like, paper thin if you can. Shave it.
Third, au jus. I use a mix (cheap, easy) and throw my extremely thin shaved beef in the pan. Then I add some onions, mushrooms and rosemary. Let the beef sit in there long enough to make it hot, and then pour some au jus through a strainer into a mug/cup/whatever.
You can also add corn starch and flour to au jus mix and make it into a fast ad-hoc gravy. Way easier than fucking around with a hot broiler pan and a whisk. Just boil water, add mix, adjust to consistency, the end. A sauce will make or break a dish very easily.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 34
"A Little Crazy"
January 29, 2011
January 29, 2011
Ingredients:
Cucumber sandwiches and macaroni salad
Cucumber sandwiches and macaroni salad
"Owls"January 29, 2011
Ingredients:
Beef roast
Generic boxed rice with added frozen vegetables
Garden salad with beets
Horse radish
I hate owls. They are screeching demon spawn and Futurama totally got it right.
Beef roast
Generic boxed rice with added frozen vegetables
Garden salad with beets
Horse radish
I hate owls. They are screeching demon spawn and Futurama totally got it right.
Pareidolia Project Day 33, Part II.
"Giraffe Turnover"
January 28, 2011
Ingredients:
Turnover from generic crescent roll puff pastry and fillings
garden salad
Here is the final giraffe I promised for my friend's daughter.
Turnover from generic crescent roll puff pastry and fillings
garden salad
Here is the final giraffe I promised for my friend's daughter.
Pareidolia Project Day 33
"Goat's Head Macaroni Salad"January 28, 2011
Ingredients:
Grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and onion
Macaroni salad
This was initially supposed to be the head of a giraffe, which was requested by a friend's daughter. I normally don't do requests, but I didn't have the heart to say no. Additionally, I was disappointed in the outcome. It might have been a giraffe, but it was also a goat.
Grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and onion
Macaroni salad
This was initially supposed to be the head of a giraffe, which was requested by a friend's daughter. I normally don't do requests, but I didn't have the heart to say no. Additionally, I was disappointed in the outcome. It might have been a giraffe, but it was also a goat.
Pareidolia Project Day 32, Part II.
"Tastes Like Chicken"January 27, 2011
Ingredients:
Chicken tenderloins (ears)
Garden salad
Pasta with marinara and cheese (the rest of the head)
Chicken tenderloins (ears)
Garden salad
Pasta with marinara and cheese (the rest of the head)
Pareidolia Project Day 31
"Roast Beef Bouquet"January 26, 2011
Half a sandwich (roast beef)
Mixed greens and cottage cheese
Tomato and green onion (flowers).
Pareidolia Project Day 28, Part III
The bottom one was mine. I really miss tits.
Ingredients:
Tempura fried bananas
Chocolate ice cream
Whip cream
Chocolate shell
Maraschino cherries
Sprinkles
If I have to tell you how to make any part of this besides the fried bananas, you need more help cooking than I can possibly provide.
The bananas are battered with a mix of flour and cornstarch (about equal parts) and Sprite. Add cinnamon and sugar for seasoning and deep-fry until about a minute after they begin floating.
Tempura fried bananas
Chocolate ice cream
Whip cream
Chocolate shell
Maraschino cherries
Sprinkles
If I have to tell you how to make any part of this besides the fried bananas, you need more help cooking than I can possibly provide.
The bananas are battered with a mix of flour and cornstarch (about equal parts) and Sprite. Add cinnamon and sugar for seasoning and deep-fry until about a minute after they begin floating.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 28
"Roast Beef Ninja"
January 23, 2011
Ingredients:
Roast beef sandwich
Potato salad from leftover potatoes previous night. Add pickle, mustard and mayonnaise.
"One does not see the sandwich assassins unless the sandwich assassins want to be seen, and by then, it is too late." Proverb of the lunch ronin.
Of course my mom didn't see this. IT'S A FREAKIN' NINJA!
Roast beef sandwich
Potato salad from leftover potatoes previous night. Add pickle, mustard and mayonnaise.
"One does not see the sandwich assassins unless the sandwich assassins want to be seen, and by then, it is too late." Proverb of the lunch ronin.
Of course my mom didn't see this. IT'S A FREAKIN' NINJA!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 27, Part III.
"I Come in Peace, Human"January 22, 2011
Ingredients:
Chocolate ice cream
Whip cream
Cherries
Chocolate shell
Little Debbie Swiss Roll
Sprinkles
1 Rollo (nose)
I thought this one looked like an evil robot with the red eyes. It was damn tasty, though!
Chocolate ice cream
Whip cream
Cherries
Chocolate shell
Little Debbie Swiss Roll
Sprinkles
1 Rollo (nose)
I thought this one looked like an evil robot with the red eyes. It was damn tasty, though!
Pareidolia Project Day 27, Part II.
"I'm a FISH!"
January 22, 2011
Ingredients:
Roast beef and potaotes
Steamed frozen veggie mix
This dish is roast beef and potatoes, masquerading as something healthier. Something that has the freedom of the entire sea at its disposal. Alas, this was not to be. It was a disguise that could not be maintained. It is a fish no longer.
My mom's response: "Oh, are we out of horseradish?"
Roast beef and potaotes
Steamed frozen veggie mix
This dish is roast beef and potatoes, masquerading as something healthier. Something that has the freedom of the entire sea at its disposal. Alas, this was not to be. It was a disguise that could not be maintained. It is a fish no longer.
My mom's response: "Oh, are we out of horseradish?"
Pareidolia Project Day 27
"Velociraptor Meatloaf on Sourdough"
January 22, 2011
Ingredients:
Leftover meatloaf (including bacon)
Sourdough
Leftover meatloaf (including bacon)
Sourdough
I wanted the viewer to experience the sheer terror of the little bacon man as he realizes that velociraptor meatloaf sandwiches were going to soon overtake the island. More importantly, He realized he was going to be the next one to go. There is no escaping this ultimate predator that time disregarded. For him, it was the end.
Mom was busy watching TV. No mention of a face, just "thanks".
Friday, January 21, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 26, Part II.
"Black Bean Beard"
January 21, 2011
Ingredients:
Meat loaf. I'm not even going to list a recipe here because I only had about a pound and a half of hamburger and just kind of threw things together to make it "southwestern-style".
Baked potato with sour cream and cheese
Black beans
I took a more subtle approach in this one. The eyes are black beans, and the head is meat loaf with bacon on top. I didn't want to use bacon for evil eyebrows twice in one day, so it just forms the top of the head.
Meat loaf. I'm not even going to list a recipe here because I only had about a pound and a half of hamburger and just kind of threw things together to make it "southwestern-style".
Baked potato with sour cream and cheese
Black beans
I took a more subtle approach in this one. The eyes are black beans, and the head is meat loaf with bacon on top. I didn't want to use bacon for evil eyebrows twice in one day, so it just forms the top of the head.
Pareidolia Project Day 26
"Diabolical Omelet, Drooling"January 21, 2011
Ingredients:
2-egg omelet
Smoked sausage
Mushroom
Onion
Jalapeno
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Hollandaise sauce
Cholula and tomato (mouth)
Sourdough toast with butter and blueberry preserves
Bacon
I went for a more subtle approach this time. No mention of a face.
I felt they eyebrows looked far more menacing before I plated the preserves. When you gazed into the eyes of this omelet, you say one who was foaming at the mouth from madness. Now with the eyes, the stare is vacant. They say they eyes are the window to the soul. If this is the case, this one's windows are broken.
God, I can't believe I just typed that! Pretentious! Wow! It's a fucking omelet with toast and bacon.
2-egg omelet
Smoked sausage
Mushroom
Onion
Jalapeno
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Hollandaise sauce
Cholula and tomato (mouth)
Sourdough toast with butter and blueberry preserves
Bacon
I went for a more subtle approach this time. No mention of a face.
I felt they eyebrows looked far more menacing before I plated the preserves. When you gazed into the eyes of this omelet, you say one who was foaming at the mouth from madness. Now with the eyes, the stare is vacant. They say they eyes are the window to the soul. If this is the case, this one's windows are broken.
God, I can't believe I just typed that! Pretentious! Wow! It's a fucking omelet with toast and bacon.
Cryptic prognostications
This was the fortune in the last fortune cookie I had.
The second line is surprisingly accurate.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 25, Part II.
"Stripper Stromboli"
January 20, 2011
January 20, 2011
Ingredients:
1) Stromboli
Generic puff pastry crescent rolls (crust)
Frozen broccoli
Smoked turkey sausage
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Canned mushrooms
Chopped black olive (eyes)
Hollandaise sauce
2)Salad
Mixed greens
Green onion
Tomato
Balsamic, lemon juice, whole grain mustard and olive oil in a vinaigrette
I didn't mean for the Hollandaise sauce to end up there like it did. I guess it's just a testament to my sexual frustration. By the way ladies, I'm single. You like food with faces in it? You know you do. Yeah...
Mom saw a face.
Seriously though... I'm single.
1) Stromboli
Generic puff pastry crescent rolls (crust)
Frozen broccoli
Smoked turkey sausage
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Canned mushrooms
Chopped black olive (eyes)
Hollandaise sauce
2)Salad
Mixed greens
Green onion
Tomato
Balsamic, lemon juice, whole grain mustard and olive oil in a vinaigrette
I didn't mean for the Hollandaise sauce to end up there like it did. I guess it's just a testament to my sexual frustration. By the way ladies, I'm single. You like food with faces in it? You know you do. Yeah...
Mom saw a face.
Seriously though... I'm single.
Pareidolia Project Day 25
"Unimpressed Turkey Wrap"
January 20, 2011
Ingredients:
1) Turkey wrap
Turkey cold cuts
Mixed greens
Tomato
Cucumber
Whole-grain mustard
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Onion
Italian dressing, salt/pepper
XL Flour tortilla
2) Cottage cheese
Kosher dill pickle
Tomato
Cucumber
Green olive
Mom said this one had Groucho Marx eyebrows. That's a pretty good comparison, I think.
A good wrap is pretty healthy, and by now it should be apparent that my budget for each meal is about $2 per person. For that cost, I actually manage to keep two people fed pretty well.
I should probably start focusing on a more exciting side than cottage cheese. Mom likes it and it's cheap and easy to do things to, but it's beginning to bore me.
1) Turkey wrap
Turkey cold cuts
Mixed greens
Tomato
Cucumber
Whole-grain mustard
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Onion
Italian dressing, salt/pepper
XL Flour tortilla
2) Cottage cheese
Kosher dill pickle
Tomato
Cucumber
Green olive
Mom said this one had Groucho Marx eyebrows. That's a pretty good comparison, I think.
A good wrap is pretty healthy, and by now it should be apparent that my budget for each meal is about $2 per person. For that cost, I actually manage to keep two people fed pretty well.
I should probably start focusing on a more exciting side than cottage cheese. Mom likes it and it's cheap and easy to do things to, but it's beginning to bore me.
Apologies in advance
I'm having some issues with the formatting in my page, hence the inconsistent fonts.
Pareidolia Project Day 24
"Butterfly with Patty Melt Wings"
January 19, 2011
January 19, 2011
"No, lady! Please, I'm begging you, don't eat me! I've got a wife and three cocoons at home! I'm a pollinator! I serve a greater purpose in this life! NOOOOOO!!!"
Ingredients:
Cheeseburger patty with sauteed onions, mustard and tomato on sourdough. Normally, this would be grilled, but my mom prefers the bread un-toasted.
Cottage cheese
Green onion
Tomato
Cucumber
Chopped black olive
This was the first time my mom had seen a dish and called the pareidolia object something other than a face. She did think it was a caterpillar until I said it was a butterfly, and she saw the imagery right away. Trying to find which shapes people are tuned to see and comparing that with the complexity is yielding some interesting results.
Unfortunately, dinner received no mention for hidden meaning. Only for flavor.
Cheeseburger patty with sauteed onions, mustard and tomato on sourdough. Normally, this would be grilled, but my mom prefers the bread un-toasted.
Cottage cheese
Green onion
Tomato
Cucumber
Chopped black olive
This was the first time my mom had seen a dish and called the pareidolia object something other than a face. She did think it was a caterpillar until I said it was a butterfly, and she saw the imagery right away. Trying to find which shapes people are tuned to see and comparing that with the complexity is yielding some interesting results.
Unfortunately, dinner received no mention for hidden meaning. Only for flavor.
"It Keeps the Snails off the Food"
January 19, 2011
Ingredients:
1) Black beans
Tomato
Onion
Cilantro
Cumin
Sour cream
Lime juice . I kept it whole in case I could have done something with it. In retrospect, I should have.
2) Pasta
Instant. Buy a mix, use the recipe on the back.
3) Salisbury steak
Make a long hamburger patty and poach it in gravy, onions and mushrooms
4) Ladybug
Tomato
Chopped black olive
Sour cream
I went for something subtle again. I didn't overtake the whole dish with a single image. The Salisbury steak I gave her was kind of shaped like a brain. I could have gone for a different scene entirely.
This was kind of an homage to "The Jerk". There's a line in there where Navin complains that there were snails on the food and that a fancy place like where they were eating would be able to keep the snails off the food. You do kind of have to wonder what people were thinking when they invented escargot, but it's damn tasty!
I figured ladybugs are the cutest of all bugs, and I know they're a favorite of mom's, but she didn't say anything.
1) Black beans
Tomato
Onion
Cilantro
Cumin
Sour cream
Lime juice . I kept it whole in case I could have done something with it. In retrospect, I should have.
2) Pasta
Instant. Buy a mix, use the recipe on the back.
3) Salisbury steak
Make a long hamburger patty and poach it in gravy, onions and mushrooms
4) Ladybug
Tomato
Chopped black olive
Sour cream
I went for something subtle again. I didn't overtake the whole dish with a single image. The Salisbury steak I gave her was kind of shaped like a brain. I could have gone for a different scene entirely.
This was kind of an homage to "The Jerk". There's a line in there where Navin complains that there were snails on the food and that a fancy place like where they were eating would be able to keep the snails off the food. You do kind of have to wonder what people were thinking when they invented escargot, but it's damn tasty!
I figured ladybugs are the cutest of all bugs, and I know they're a favorite of mom's, but she didn't say anything.
Pareidolia Project Day 23
"If you gaze too long into an abyss..."
"...the abyss will gaze back into you." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Tuna Salad Abyss"
January 18, 2011
Ingredients:
Tuna salad. Included jalapeno, lemon pepper sauce, onion and cucumber
Tomato
Cucumber
Swiss cheese singles
Chopped black olive
Mixed greens
Kosher dill pickle
Tuna salad. Included jalapeno, lemon pepper sauce, onion and cucumber
Tomato
Cucumber
Swiss cheese singles
Chopped black olive
Mixed greens
Kosher dill pickle
Now I was starting to experiment more with the art. She noticed faces again, but no context.
This is one of my favorites because of some of the negative colors as well as the concept of mirror agnosia. Her food was no longer staring at her, it was staring at itself and not understanding what it was seeing. Deep, huh?
Pareidolia Project Day 22
"German Food Vampire"
January 17, 2011
Ingredients:
Sauerkraut carmelized in butter and onion
German potato salad (potato, bacon, whole grain mustard, onion, vinegar, salt/pepper and sugar)
Beets
Smoked turkey sausage. Yes, I know Jenny-O isn't real German sausage, but it was on sale.
Sour cream
Pimento from green olive (eyes)
I kind of feel like this is what Goofy would look like if he were to suddenly turn into a vampire. I could just see it now. Mickey and Minnie are walking down the boardwalk in Disneyland's Imaginationland on a nice romantic night. Suddenly, Goofy walks up. Mickey extends his hand for a greeting, and Goody, with the speed of the wind, breaks his neck and begins to feed. Minnie screams in abject horror and is paralyzed momentarily with fear. As Goofy seems distracted, she scrambles for an exit, but Goofy stops her.
"Gorsh! I wanna suck your blood, Minnie! Join us! Hyuk!" He says as he gazes into her eyes. It's too late for her now. She has become one of them.
One of my friends saw a similarity between this and goatse. If you aren't familiar with goatse, do yourself a favor and don't become familiar with it. Ever. Just, don't even ask about it, don't google it and put it out of your mind forever.
Now that you have ignored my instructions, that image is permanently scarred in your brain. You will begin to see it in everything, but I didn't have any intent to sculpt it into my mother's food. However, I did let my friend who suggest it know that I would be happy to cook for her and her husband sometime.
Mom saw another face in this.
Sauerkraut carmelized in butter and onion
German potato salad (potato, bacon, whole grain mustard, onion, vinegar, salt/pepper and sugar)
Beets
Smoked turkey sausage. Yes, I know Jenny-O isn't real German sausage, but it was on sale.
Sour cream
Pimento from green olive (eyes)
I kind of feel like this is what Goofy would look like if he were to suddenly turn into a vampire. I could just see it now. Mickey and Minnie are walking down the boardwalk in Disneyland's Imaginationland on a nice romantic night. Suddenly, Goofy walks up. Mickey extends his hand for a greeting, and Goody, with the speed of the wind, breaks his neck and begins to feed. Minnie screams in abject horror and is paralyzed momentarily with fear. As Goofy seems distracted, she scrambles for an exit, but Goofy stops her.
"Gorsh! I wanna suck your blood, Minnie! Join us! Hyuk!" He says as he gazes into her eyes. It's too late for her now. She has become one of them.
One of my friends saw a similarity between this and goatse. If you aren't familiar with goatse, do yourself a favor and don't become familiar with it. Ever. Just, don't even ask about it, don't google it and put it out of your mind forever.
Now that you have ignored my instructions, that image is permanently scarred in your brain. You will begin to see it in everything, but I didn't have any intent to sculpt it into my mother's food. However, I did let my friend who suggest it know that I would be happy to cook for her and her husband sometime.
Mom saw another face in this.
Pareidolia Project Day 21
"Salad Hiding in the Land of Sandwiches"
January 16, 2011
January 16, 2011
Ingredients:
Grilled cheese with turkey and tomato
Mixed Greens
Pickle
Jalapeno and chopped black olive (eyes)
Cottage cheese with salsa
This was a fairly light lunch of a small salad and half a sandwich. Mom didn't notice this, which is exactly what the salad was hoping for. Dinner, however was a far more serious matter.
Grilled cheese with turkey and tomato
Mixed Greens
Pickle
Jalapeno and chopped black olive (eyes)
Cottage cheese with salsa
This was a fairly light lunch of a small salad and half a sandwich. Mom didn't notice this, which is exactly what the salad was hoping for. Dinner, however was a far more serious matter.
"Angry Potato Odin and his Green Bean Beard"
January 16, 2011
January 16, 2011
Ingredients:
Potatoes. Thin sliced and baked in layers with cream, jalapeno, butter and seasonings. Not quite scalloped, but not quite not, either.
Sour cream
Pearl onions and chopped black olive
French cut green beans with onion and Tabasco.
I do cook vegetarian food on occasion. This is especially true in times when I need to save money, because most veggies are really cheap. I think a ten-pound bag of potatoes is a particularly good investment for cooking on a budget. Potatoes are very versatile, nutritious, and tasty. They also make for a good head of hair on the mighty Odin. Mom noticed Odin, but could not gauge his expression, referring to him once again as a face.
Potatoes. Thin sliced and baked in layers with cream, jalapeno, butter and seasonings. Not quite scalloped, but not quite not, either.
Sour cream
Pearl onions and chopped black olive
French cut green beans with onion and Tabasco.
I do cook vegetarian food on occasion. This is especially true in times when I need to save money, because most veggies are really cheap. I think a ten-pound bag of potatoes is a particularly good investment for cooking on a budget. Potatoes are very versatile, nutritious, and tasty. They also make for a good head of hair on the mighty Odin. Mom noticed Odin, but could not gauge his expression, referring to him once again as a face.
Pareidolia Project Day 20
"Sinister Crab Primavera"
January 14, 2011
January 14, 2011
Ingredients:
Canned crab
Dry pasta shells
Butter
Olive oil
Frozen vegetable mix
Green olive
Salt, pepper, Italian seasoning
Lemon juice
I take blame for this one. It was kind of half-assed to begin with, but it also was not a great combination of sculptable ingredients. It was a nice crab butter pasta with veggies, and as I have said before, my main goal is that the food tastes good. I don't remember if my mom noticed this one or not. I was kind of hoping she wouldn't. I was THAT embarrassed by the half-ass-ness of this dish.
Pareidolia Project Day 19
"Panda on Cottage Cheese"
January 14, 2011
Ingredients:
Cottage cheese
Turkey cold cuts
Onion
Chopped black olives
Beets
Mixed greens
Mushroom (nose)
Our supplies were starting to dwindle, so the turkey cold cut/cottage cheese/greens combo was in order for lunch as a staple. She did not notice the panda.
Cottage cheese
Turkey cold cuts
Onion
Chopped black olives
Beets
Mixed greens
Mushroom (nose)
Our supplies were starting to dwindle, so the turkey cold cut/cottage cheese/greens combo was in order for lunch as a staple. She did not notice the panda.
Pareidolia Project Day 18
"Clown Salad with Beety Eyes"
January 12, 2011
Ingredients:
Cottage cheese
Onion
Turkey cold cuts
Jalapenos
Shredded Mexican cheese
Chopped black olive
Beets
Mixed greens
Salt, pepper
Kosher dill pickle
Clowns staring at you is far worse than humans staring at you. At least I think so.
This was noticed, dinner's pareidolia was not. Meet "The Beev":
Cottage cheese
Onion
Turkey cold cuts
Jalapenos
Shredded Mexican cheese
Chopped black olive
Beets
Mixed greens
Salt, pepper
Kosher dill pickle
Clowns staring at you is far worse than humans staring at you. At least I think so.
This was noticed, dinner's pareidolia was not. Meet "The Beev":
"Beaver in Tuna Rice (With Vegetables)"
January 12, 2011
January 12, 2011
Ingredients:
Instant rice (like Rice-a-roni or something)
Frozen mixed vegetables
Tuna
Sour cream
Green olive
This could be considered kind of half-assed. Whenever I make a uni-dish, like Rice-A-Roni with some meat and veggies thrown in, it's because I only want to use one pan and I don't feel like cooking but have to anyway. In my defense, however, this is one of my more subtle pieces. You don't probably had no idea what it was until I pointed it out, and then the image became clear as day.
Instant rice (like Rice-a-roni or something)
Frozen mixed vegetables
Tuna
Sour cream
Green olive
This could be considered kind of half-assed. Whenever I make a uni-dish, like Rice-A-Roni with some meat and veggies thrown in, it's because I only want to use one pan and I don't feel like cooking but have to anyway. In my defense, however, this is one of my more subtle pieces. You don't probably had no idea what it was until I pointed it out, and then the image became clear as day.
Pareidolia Project Day 17
"Furby Baked Potato, Tilapia, and Beets"
January 11, 2011
Ingredients:
Pan-baked tilapia seasoned with Old Bay, brown butter, onion and lemon pepper
Canned beets
Baked potato
Sour cream
Key lime
Chopped black olive
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Homemade salsa
I just want to say that out of all the possible ways to cook a potato, I loathe, repeat, LOATHE baked. They take forever, and they have no flavor or personality, especially compared to something like mashed potatoes or scalloped potatoes or fries or au gratin or dauphinoise, or hell, even steamed new potatoes in butter. I can name about 50 ways to cook a potato, and in order from best to worst, baked is somewhere on the bottom. Probably right above tournets, though. When a person orders a baked potato and other options are available, it tells me that they are a product of a bygone era that cooked potatoes with no imagination. Needless to say, I don't make them all that often, even though my mom loves baked potatoes.
Well, on Day 17, I had to begin rehearsal for a sketch show I participate in, so I wouldn't be home to cook that night. We probably had fast food for lunch, and I couldn't leave mom hungry or my friends, who were providing great feedback on the project, in a lurch. I had enough time, so I put it all in the oven, and she got her baked potato. I have to say, I do make them a lot more appealing than I normally see.
Anyway, I precooked and plated this, but I had to refrigerate it since I wouldn't be home to serve. Just before I left, I went to the fridge to get some iced tea and noticed all the beets had been eaten. In the car on the way over, mom told me for the first time that she really enjoyed the faces.
To me, this had gone from venting passive-aggression, to a personality study, to an art project to something that boosted morale just a little bit every day. It's now a combination of all of the above. Times are tough, and it seemed like my life was slowly turning into Calvin and Hobbes, but instead of snowmen, I had my mom's lunch.
Pan-baked tilapia seasoned with Old Bay, brown butter, onion and lemon pepper
Canned beets
Baked potato
Sour cream
Key lime
Chopped black olive
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Homemade salsa
I just want to say that out of all the possible ways to cook a potato, I loathe, repeat, LOATHE baked. They take forever, and they have no flavor or personality, especially compared to something like mashed potatoes or scalloped potatoes or fries or au gratin or dauphinoise, or hell, even steamed new potatoes in butter. I can name about 50 ways to cook a potato, and in order from best to worst, baked is somewhere on the bottom. Probably right above tournets, though. When a person orders a baked potato and other options are available, it tells me that they are a product of a bygone era that cooked potatoes with no imagination. Needless to say, I don't make them all that often, even though my mom loves baked potatoes.
Well, on Day 17, I had to begin rehearsal for a sketch show I participate in, so I wouldn't be home to cook that night. We probably had fast food for lunch, and I couldn't leave mom hungry or my friends, who were providing great feedback on the project, in a lurch. I had enough time, so I put it all in the oven, and she got her baked potato. I have to say, I do make them a lot more appealing than I normally see.
Anyway, I precooked and plated this, but I had to refrigerate it since I wouldn't be home to serve. Just before I left, I went to the fridge to get some iced tea and noticed all the beets had been eaten. In the car on the way over, mom told me for the first time that she really enjoyed the faces.
To me, this had gone from venting passive-aggression, to a personality study, to an art project to something that boosted morale just a little bit every day. It's now a combination of all of the above. Times are tough, and it seemed like my life was slowly turning into Calvin and Hobbes, but instead of snowmen, I had my mom's lunch.
Pareidolia Project Day 16
"Pac-Man on Cottage Cheese"
January 10, 2011
January 10, 2011
Ingredients:
Tuna fish on very large, thick bread. This factor seems to outweigh the previous policy.
Cottage cheese
Tomato
Pearl onion
Pepperoncini with chopped black olive
She didn't notice this. Pop culture is of no interest to my mom. I think that's why she hates Family Guy so much.
Tuna fish on very large, thick bread. This factor seems to outweigh the previous policy.
Cottage cheese
Tomato
Pearl onion
Pepperoncini with chopped black olive
She didn't notice this. Pop culture is of no interest to my mom. I think that's why she hates Family Guy so much.
Pareidolia Project Day 15
"Grilled Cheese Creeper"
January 9, 2011
Ingredients:
Grilled cheese (1 ½)
Green olive
Mom wasn't feeling super hungry that day for lunch, and I was feeling lazy myself. She didn't notice this. I kind of don't blame her.
Grilled cheese (1 ½)
Green olive
Mom wasn't feeling super hungry that day for lunch, and I was feeling lazy myself. She didn't notice this. I kind of don't blame her.
"Stoplight Chimichanga"
January 9, 2011
Ingredients:
Chimichanga*
Home made red and green salsas
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Sour cream
*This is an advanced Mexican-American method of frying a burrito so the outer shell is crisp and full of cholesterol if possible. You can also cook them in olive oil if you want them to be healthier. What you fill the burrito with is up to you. I think this one had some leftovers seasoned with salsa to make it taste more like Mexican food. The fact that it is now a chimichanga instead of a burrito makes anything inside taste much better.
Okay, I feel like I have to defend this. I've been spoiled enough to live in one of the places in the USA with some of the best Mexican food, and I have to say that this really doesn't look too much different than a regular chimichanga. I was trying to figure out exactly what to do with a chimichanga like this without inundating my mom with too much food. This was pushing the limits as it was. I was starting to overfeed her for the past few days, and since she hates to waste food, a lot of it ends up as leftovers. That's kind of the last thing I need, so I just resorted to trying to make this look like a stoplight.
Pareidolia isn't just about faces. It's about the human brain identifying shapes in objects that are coincidental, like the faces on Mars. If she said "this looks like a stoplight", then my hope to trigger the response would be successful. Alas, like most people, she just thought it was a burrito. I informed her it was a chimichanga, and she enjoyed it.
Chimichanga*
Home made red and green salsas
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Sour cream
*This is an advanced Mexican-American method of frying a burrito so the outer shell is crisp and full of cholesterol if possible. You can also cook them in olive oil if you want them to be healthier. What you fill the burrito with is up to you. I think this one had some leftovers seasoned with salsa to make it taste more like Mexican food. The fact that it is now a chimichanga instead of a burrito makes anything inside taste much better.
Okay, I feel like I have to defend this. I've been spoiled enough to live in one of the places in the USA with some of the best Mexican food, and I have to say that this really doesn't look too much different than a regular chimichanga. I was trying to figure out exactly what to do with a chimichanga like this without inundating my mom with too much food. This was pushing the limits as it was. I was starting to overfeed her for the past few days, and since she hates to waste food, a lot of it ends up as leftovers. That's kind of the last thing I need, so I just resorted to trying to make this look like a stoplight.
Pareidolia isn't just about faces. It's about the human brain identifying shapes in objects that are coincidental, like the faces on Mars. If she said "this looks like a stoplight", then my hope to trigger the response would be successful. Alas, like most people, she just thought it was a burrito. I informed her it was a chimichanga, and she enjoyed it.
Pareidolia Project Day 14
"Tamale Mummy"
January 8, 2011
Ingredients:
Tamales. Alas, I did not make these.*
Bell pepper strips
Homemade salsa
Jalapenos
*My brother and his long-time girlfriend made these as part of my mom's Christmas present. They freeze in the husks quite nicely.
Tamales. Alas, I did not make these.*
Bell pepper strips
Homemade salsa
Jalapenos
*My brother and his long-time girlfriend made these as part of my mom's Christmas present. They freeze in the husks quite nicely.
My mom didn't see the mummy this time. Sticking with the theme of thrillers, dinner that evening...
"Donnie Darko Chicken and Mashed Potatoes"
January 8, 2011
Trying my hand with a pop culture reference is always a long shot for my mom. She watches Law and Order, The Closer, CSI, Bones, that channel where there's always a murder re-enactment... She's not really big into psychological metaphysical thrillers.
She saw a face. I thought she would at least have seen a bunny or something, but not so.
She saw a face. I thought she would at least have seen a bunny or something, but not so.
Pareidolia Project Day 13
"Pickled Cthulhu Rising From Potato Salad R'lyeh"
January 7, 2011
Ingredients:
Potato
Ham
Onion
Whole grain mustard
Sour cream
Cthulhu:
Kosher dill pickle
Pepperoncini
Chopped black olive and pimento from green olive (eyes)
Mixed greens (wings and arms)
Here's the thing about Cthulhu: either you know about him or you don't. If you don't the unspeakable horror that is him is best left from your mind's eye. If you do, his presence is truly everywhere and it's only a matter of time before it drives you mad. My mom saw "something" here, but she couldn't describe what.
Later that evening, dinner brought another inspiration. Behold! His noodly appendage...
Potato
Ham
Onion
Whole grain mustard
Sour cream
Cthulhu:
Kosher dill pickle
Pepperoncini
Chopped black olive and pimento from green olive (eyes)
Mixed greens (wings and arms)
Here's the thing about Cthulhu: either you know about him or you don't. If you don't the unspeakable horror that is him is best left from your mind's eye. If you do, his presence is truly everywhere and it's only a matter of time before it drives you mad. My mom saw "something" here, but she couldn't describe what.
Later that evening, dinner brought another inspiration. Behold! His noodly appendage...
"Lounging Spaghetti Monster"
January 7, 2011
January 7, 2011
Ingredients:
Spaghetti
Spaghetti sauce
Pearl onions and chopped black olives (eyes)
Okay, so you know how Jesus is always appearing in a tortilla or a moldy orange or something stupid? Well, that's pareidolia. Alternately, when Pastafarians think they see the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a bowl of noodles, they actually ARE seeing it! Praise be unto his noodly appendage, ramen!
Mom did not notice this.
Spaghetti
Spaghetti sauce
Pearl onions and chopped black olives (eyes)
Okay, so you know how Jesus is always appearing in a tortilla or a moldy orange or something stupid? Well, that's pareidolia. Alternately, when Pastafarians think they see the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a bowl of noodles, they actually ARE seeing it! Praise be unto his noodly appendage, ramen!
Mom did not notice this.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 12
"Tuna Muppet is Dismayed by Cottage Cheese Volcano"
January 6, 2011
Ingredients:
Tuna fish mix*
White bread
Cottage cheese
Kosher dill pickle
Pearl onion (with a bit of chopped black olive for the eye)
*This changes frequently, but can typically include any combination of the following: mayonnaise, sour cream, yellow and/or whole grain mustard, kosher dill pickle, jalapeno, pearl onion, hard-boiled egg, black olive, wasabai sauce, white or green onion, cranberries, etc. It may be safe to say I have not made tuna fish twice the same way in a long time. Choose your own tuna recipe.
Tuna fish mix*
White bread
Cottage cheese
Kosher dill pickle
Pearl onion (with a bit of chopped black olive for the eye)
*This changes frequently, but can typically include any combination of the following: mayonnaise, sour cream, yellow and/or whole grain mustard, kosher dill pickle, jalapeno, pearl onion, hard-boiled egg, black olive, wasabai sauce, white or green onion, cranberries, etc. It may be safe to say I have not made tuna fish twice the same way in a long time. Choose your own tuna recipe.
So, my mom has this policy whenever she makes tuna fish. She will make a sandwich and a half for me every time she makes me a tuna sandwich. One time, I made the mistake of making only one sandwich for her. It was on very large bread, but she did seem to want to nitpick it. This policy does not apply to other sandwiches, just tuna.
I was trying to decide what to do with a plate full of tuna sandwich halves, when I remembered something somebody had said about doing a face in profile. I thought that was a great idea, so this was my first attempt at doing so. I had questions as to what to do with the pickle. I considered making the sandwich look like Gonzo, but I reconsidered.
Due to the items I use mostly taking the form of googly eyes, I frequently refer to the representatives in the food as "muppets".
Pareidolia Project Day 11
"Hooty, the Horned Harbinger of the Foodpocalypse"
January 5, 2011
January 5, 2011
Ingredients:
Eggs
Sausage
Toast
Green olive
Cholula sauce (the beak)
Again, she did not see this picture. She also didn't ask questions many people would ask, like "why is this one sausage cut in half?" or "why are there olives on the eggs?". I truly wasn't sure what to make of that. Fortunately, I had decided to expand the project from solely lunch to lunch and dinner, thus increasing my material.
"A Pretty Fish Lady With Green Eyes"
January 5, 2011
Eggs
Sausage
Toast
Green olive
Cholula sauce (the beak)
Again, she did not see this picture. She also didn't ask questions many people would ask, like "why is this one sausage cut in half?" or "why are there olives on the eggs?". I truly wasn't sure what to make of that. Fortunately, I had decided to expand the project from solely lunch to lunch and dinner, thus increasing my material.
"A Pretty Fish Lady With Green Eyes"January 5, 2011
Ingredients:
Pan-fried tilapia
Sweet peas with jalapeno
Mashed potatoes with cheese and ham
Pearl onion
Tomato and chopped black olive (lips and eyes)
She saw the face in this. In retrospect, a few friends who saw this pointed out that I could have made this Homer Simpson in drag or even a tyrannosaurus (the way the fish flaked when the filet was split). Oh well. It's essentially a disassembled fisherman's pie, except my grandparents always made fisherman's pie with tuna fish and no personality.
Pan-fried tilapia
Sweet peas with jalapeno
Mashed potatoes with cheese and ham
Pearl onion
Tomato and chopped black olive (lips and eyes)
She saw the face in this. In retrospect, a few friends who saw this pointed out that I could have made this Homer Simpson in drag or even a tyrannosaurus (the way the fish flaked when the filet was split). Oh well. It's essentially a disassembled fisherman's pie, except my grandparents always made fisherman's pie with tuna fish and no personality.
Pareidolia Project Day 10
"Señor del bigote de la salmuera, Cortar la carne de cabeza Torta"
January 4, 2011
Ingredients:
1:) Sandwich
Spiral-cut ham
Turkey cold cuts
Cheese
Mayonnaise
Tomato
Mixed greens
Onion
Green olive
Cilantro (eyebrows)
2:) Black bean hummus
Black beans
Cilantro
Garlic
Tahini
Olive oil
Salt/pepper
Cumin
Pita bread
Kosher dill pickle
Pepperoncini
1:) Sandwich
Spiral-cut ham
Turkey cold cuts
Cheese
Mayonnaise
Tomato
Mixed greens
Onion
Green olive
Cilantro (eyebrows)
2:) Black bean hummus
Black beans
Cilantro
Garlic
Tahini
Olive oil
Salt/pepper
Cumin
Pita bread
Kosher dill pickle
Pepperoncini
This guy had kind of a cholo mustache, so his title is in Spanish and as accurate as I could make it. Mom wanted an un-toasted club sandwich that day, but I couldn't find a good translation for "club sandwich", so it became "meat cut sandwich".
She didn't see the face this time. It kind of bothered me at the time, because she wasn't asking things like "why are there two cilantro leaves on top of my sandwich?", but I guess she could have just seen it as a garnish. I stopped garnishing food about two months after I moved back in with her.
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