This woman on OKC made the wrong decision in messaging me. Over and over and over and over and over again. It was amusing for a couple of hours, but this was my final word. I'm sure to get a text message or something, but I'm not likely to answer
Yeah, I'm pretty sure things aren't going to work out very well with statements like that whole thing about politics. You should probably back them up with some kind of evidence. Additionally, most of the people I know that make statements like that really need a refresher course in not only American and world history, but probably high school civics as well.
I'm really sorry Ok Cupid thought we would be a good match. Unfortunately, it doesn't really take things like politics or common sense into account.
You're coming out of a 12-year relationship. That's really a major emotional readjustment for anybody and I can see it's taking its toll on you. You might benefit from counseling. I really don't mean any disrespect when I say that. Just speaking from my own experience with mental health, 7 years with the RBHA, I have seen many people benefit from therapy, including myself.
Good luck in future endeavors and may you live in interesting times.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Steampunk Project: Part 2
This was the steamtrooper helmet. I have some nicer paint that might work for it now, though.
The initial helmet design with most of the stuff in place. I was always disappointed with this helmet. It was just an $80 piece of vinyl crap with cloudy lenses you couldn't see out of and it just kind of bent and got warped. It was poorly stenciled and it wasn't hard, shiny plastic like the guys in the 501st have. Well, now was the time to change that.
Left Front. Pull switch
The initial helmet design with most of the stuff in place. I was always disappointed with this helmet. It was just an $80 piece of vinyl crap with cloudy lenses you couldn't see out of and it just kind of bent and got warped. It was poorly stenciled and it wasn't hard, shiny plastic like the guys in the 501st have. Well, now was the time to change that.
After the first coat of paint.
Final product. Front.
Front right side. I added the elixir diffusion system and an ear hole
Right side.
Left Front. Pull switch
Top
Steampunk project Part 1
My first steampunk project.
The NERF Maverick. Essential beginning material for any steampunker.
The NERF Maverick. Essential beginning material for any steampunker.
Before and after
Left
Right
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 40
"Adopted"
February 4, 2011
Ingredients:
Tuna salad
Mixed greens
Cottage cheese
Cucumber
Green olives in two sizes
Sliced beets
Tuna salad
Mixed greens
Cottage cheese
Cucumber
Green olives in two sizes
Sliced beets
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 38
"Albino Jaws Burrito"
February 2, 2011
This is just a normal burrito. It was kind of a toss-up as to what I wanted to make, so it ws almost a ghost, but then I thought it kind of looked like the poster for Jaws.
Mom saw a ghost.
Mom saw a ghost.
Pareidolia Project Day 37
"Franken-Stroganoff"Ingredients:
Beef Stroganoff
Pickled beets sauteed in sauerkraut and butter
Mashed sweet peas
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 35
"Taking a Dip"Ingredients:
French dip sandwich
Au jus
Macaroni salad
There are three secrets to a perfect French dip. First, have bread with a hard outer crust and a good sandwich shape. I use baguette because it's really cheap and perfect for this job.
Second, have a good cut of meat. I had a roast from the previous night that was served just above "alive" in terms of how well done it was. Slice that shit THIN. Like, paper thin if you can. Shave it.
Third, au jus. I use a mix (cheap, easy) and throw my extremely thin shaved beef in the pan. Then I add some onions, mushrooms and rosemary. Let the beef sit in there long enough to make it hot, and then pour some au jus through a strainer into a mug/cup/whatever.
You can also add corn starch and flour to au jus mix and make it into a fast ad-hoc gravy. Way easier than fucking around with a hot broiler pan and a whisk. Just boil water, add mix, adjust to consistency, the end. A sauce will make or break a dish very easily.
French dip sandwich
Au jus
Macaroni salad
There are three secrets to a perfect French dip. First, have bread with a hard outer crust and a good sandwich shape. I use baguette because it's really cheap and perfect for this job.
Second, have a good cut of meat. I had a roast from the previous night that was served just above "alive" in terms of how well done it was. Slice that shit THIN. Like, paper thin if you can. Shave it.
Third, au jus. I use a mix (cheap, easy) and throw my extremely thin shaved beef in the pan. Then I add some onions, mushrooms and rosemary. Let the beef sit in there long enough to make it hot, and then pour some au jus through a strainer into a mug/cup/whatever.
You can also add corn starch and flour to au jus mix and make it into a fast ad-hoc gravy. Way easier than fucking around with a hot broiler pan and a whisk. Just boil water, add mix, adjust to consistency, the end. A sauce will make or break a dish very easily.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 34
"A Little Crazy"
January 29, 2011
January 29, 2011
Ingredients:
Cucumber sandwiches and macaroni salad
Cucumber sandwiches and macaroni salad
"Owls"January 29, 2011
Ingredients:
Beef roast
Generic boxed rice with added frozen vegetables
Garden salad with beets
Horse radish
I hate owls. They are screeching demon spawn and Futurama totally got it right.
Beef roast
Generic boxed rice with added frozen vegetables
Garden salad with beets
Horse radish
I hate owls. They are screeching demon spawn and Futurama totally got it right.
Pareidolia Project Day 33, Part II.
"Giraffe Turnover"
January 28, 2011
Ingredients:
Turnover from generic crescent roll puff pastry and fillings
garden salad
Here is the final giraffe I promised for my friend's daughter.
Turnover from generic crescent roll puff pastry and fillings
garden salad
Here is the final giraffe I promised for my friend's daughter.
Pareidolia Project Day 33
"Goat's Head Macaroni Salad"January 28, 2011
Ingredients:
Grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and onion
Macaroni salad
This was initially supposed to be the head of a giraffe, which was requested by a friend's daughter. I normally don't do requests, but I didn't have the heart to say no. Additionally, I was disappointed in the outcome. It might have been a giraffe, but it was also a goat.
Grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and onion
Macaroni salad
This was initially supposed to be the head of a giraffe, which was requested by a friend's daughter. I normally don't do requests, but I didn't have the heart to say no. Additionally, I was disappointed in the outcome. It might have been a giraffe, but it was also a goat.
Pareidolia Project Day 32, Part II.
"Tastes Like Chicken"January 27, 2011
Ingredients:
Chicken tenderloins (ears)
Garden salad
Pasta with marinara and cheese (the rest of the head)
Chicken tenderloins (ears)
Garden salad
Pasta with marinara and cheese (the rest of the head)
Pareidolia Project Day 31
"Roast Beef Bouquet"January 26, 2011
Half a sandwich (roast beef)
Mixed greens and cottage cheese
Tomato and green onion (flowers).
Pareidolia Project Day 28, Part III
The bottom one was mine. I really miss tits.
Ingredients:
Tempura fried bananas
Chocolate ice cream
Whip cream
Chocolate shell
Maraschino cherries
Sprinkles
If I have to tell you how to make any part of this besides the fried bananas, you need more help cooking than I can possibly provide.
The bananas are battered with a mix of flour and cornstarch (about equal parts) and Sprite. Add cinnamon and sugar for seasoning and deep-fry until about a minute after they begin floating.
Tempura fried bananas
Chocolate ice cream
Whip cream
Chocolate shell
Maraschino cherries
Sprinkles
If I have to tell you how to make any part of this besides the fried bananas, you need more help cooking than I can possibly provide.
The bananas are battered with a mix of flour and cornstarch (about equal parts) and Sprite. Add cinnamon and sugar for seasoning and deep-fry until about a minute after they begin floating.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 28
"Roast Beef Ninja"
January 23, 2011
Ingredients:
Roast beef sandwich
Potato salad from leftover potatoes previous night. Add pickle, mustard and mayonnaise.
"One does not see the sandwich assassins unless the sandwich assassins want to be seen, and by then, it is too late." Proverb of the lunch ronin.
Of course my mom didn't see this. IT'S A FREAKIN' NINJA!
Roast beef sandwich
Potato salad from leftover potatoes previous night. Add pickle, mustard and mayonnaise.
"One does not see the sandwich assassins unless the sandwich assassins want to be seen, and by then, it is too late." Proverb of the lunch ronin.
Of course my mom didn't see this. IT'S A FREAKIN' NINJA!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 27, Part III.
"I Come in Peace, Human"January 22, 2011
Ingredients:
Chocolate ice cream
Whip cream
Cherries
Chocolate shell
Little Debbie Swiss Roll
Sprinkles
1 Rollo (nose)
I thought this one looked like an evil robot with the red eyes. It was damn tasty, though!
Chocolate ice cream
Whip cream
Cherries
Chocolate shell
Little Debbie Swiss Roll
Sprinkles
1 Rollo (nose)
I thought this one looked like an evil robot with the red eyes. It was damn tasty, though!
Pareidolia Project Day 27, Part II.
"I'm a FISH!"
January 22, 2011
Ingredients:
Roast beef and potaotes
Steamed frozen veggie mix
This dish is roast beef and potatoes, masquerading as something healthier. Something that has the freedom of the entire sea at its disposal. Alas, this was not to be. It was a disguise that could not be maintained. It is a fish no longer.
My mom's response: "Oh, are we out of horseradish?"
Roast beef and potaotes
Steamed frozen veggie mix
This dish is roast beef and potatoes, masquerading as something healthier. Something that has the freedom of the entire sea at its disposal. Alas, this was not to be. It was a disguise that could not be maintained. It is a fish no longer.
My mom's response: "Oh, are we out of horseradish?"
Pareidolia Project Day 27
"Velociraptor Meatloaf on Sourdough"
January 22, 2011
Ingredients:
Leftover meatloaf (including bacon)
Sourdough
Leftover meatloaf (including bacon)
Sourdough
I wanted the viewer to experience the sheer terror of the little bacon man as he realizes that velociraptor meatloaf sandwiches were going to soon overtake the island. More importantly, He realized he was going to be the next one to go. There is no escaping this ultimate predator that time disregarded. For him, it was the end.
Mom was busy watching TV. No mention of a face, just "thanks".
Friday, January 21, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 26, Part II.
"Black Bean Beard"
January 21, 2011
Ingredients:
Meat loaf. I'm not even going to list a recipe here because I only had about a pound and a half of hamburger and just kind of threw things together to make it "southwestern-style".
Baked potato with sour cream and cheese
Black beans
I took a more subtle approach in this one. The eyes are black beans, and the head is meat loaf with bacon on top. I didn't want to use bacon for evil eyebrows twice in one day, so it just forms the top of the head.
Meat loaf. I'm not even going to list a recipe here because I only had about a pound and a half of hamburger and just kind of threw things together to make it "southwestern-style".
Baked potato with sour cream and cheese
Black beans
I took a more subtle approach in this one. The eyes are black beans, and the head is meat loaf with bacon on top. I didn't want to use bacon for evil eyebrows twice in one day, so it just forms the top of the head.
Pareidolia Project Day 26
"Diabolical Omelet, Drooling"January 21, 2011
Ingredients:
2-egg omelet
Smoked sausage
Mushroom
Onion
Jalapeno
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Hollandaise sauce
Cholula and tomato (mouth)
Sourdough toast with butter and blueberry preserves
Bacon
I went for a more subtle approach this time. No mention of a face.
I felt they eyebrows looked far more menacing before I plated the preserves. When you gazed into the eyes of this omelet, you say one who was foaming at the mouth from madness. Now with the eyes, the stare is vacant. They say they eyes are the window to the soul. If this is the case, this one's windows are broken.
God, I can't believe I just typed that! Pretentious! Wow! It's a fucking omelet with toast and bacon.
2-egg omelet
Smoked sausage
Mushroom
Onion
Jalapeno
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Hollandaise sauce
Cholula and tomato (mouth)
Sourdough toast with butter and blueberry preserves
Bacon
I went for a more subtle approach this time. No mention of a face.
I felt they eyebrows looked far more menacing before I plated the preserves. When you gazed into the eyes of this omelet, you say one who was foaming at the mouth from madness. Now with the eyes, the stare is vacant. They say they eyes are the window to the soul. If this is the case, this one's windows are broken.
God, I can't believe I just typed that! Pretentious! Wow! It's a fucking omelet with toast and bacon.
Cryptic prognostications
This was the fortune in the last fortune cookie I had.
The second line is surprisingly accurate.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Pareidolia Project Day 25, Part II.
"Stripper Stromboli"
January 20, 2011
January 20, 2011
Ingredients:
1) Stromboli
Generic puff pastry crescent rolls (crust)
Frozen broccoli
Smoked turkey sausage
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Canned mushrooms
Chopped black olive (eyes)
Hollandaise sauce
2)Salad
Mixed greens
Green onion
Tomato
Balsamic, lemon juice, whole grain mustard and olive oil in a vinaigrette
I didn't mean for the Hollandaise sauce to end up there like it did. I guess it's just a testament to my sexual frustration. By the way ladies, I'm single. You like food with faces in it? You know you do. Yeah...
Mom saw a face.
Seriously though... I'm single.
1) Stromboli
Generic puff pastry crescent rolls (crust)
Frozen broccoli
Smoked turkey sausage
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Canned mushrooms
Chopped black olive (eyes)
Hollandaise sauce
2)Salad
Mixed greens
Green onion
Tomato
Balsamic, lemon juice, whole grain mustard and olive oil in a vinaigrette
I didn't mean for the Hollandaise sauce to end up there like it did. I guess it's just a testament to my sexual frustration. By the way ladies, I'm single. You like food with faces in it? You know you do. Yeah...
Mom saw a face.
Seriously though... I'm single.
Pareidolia Project Day 25
"Unimpressed Turkey Wrap"
January 20, 2011
Ingredients:
1) Turkey wrap
Turkey cold cuts
Mixed greens
Tomato
Cucumber
Whole-grain mustard
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Onion
Italian dressing, salt/pepper
XL Flour tortilla
2) Cottage cheese
Kosher dill pickle
Tomato
Cucumber
Green olive
Mom said this one had Groucho Marx eyebrows. That's a pretty good comparison, I think.
A good wrap is pretty healthy, and by now it should be apparent that my budget for each meal is about $2 per person. For that cost, I actually manage to keep two people fed pretty well.
I should probably start focusing on a more exciting side than cottage cheese. Mom likes it and it's cheap and easy to do things to, but it's beginning to bore me.
1) Turkey wrap
Turkey cold cuts
Mixed greens
Tomato
Cucumber
Whole-grain mustard
Shredded Mexican blend cheese
Onion
Italian dressing, salt/pepper
XL Flour tortilla
2) Cottage cheese
Kosher dill pickle
Tomato
Cucumber
Green olive
Mom said this one had Groucho Marx eyebrows. That's a pretty good comparison, I think.
A good wrap is pretty healthy, and by now it should be apparent that my budget for each meal is about $2 per person. For that cost, I actually manage to keep two people fed pretty well.
I should probably start focusing on a more exciting side than cottage cheese. Mom likes it and it's cheap and easy to do things to, but it's beginning to bore me.
Apologies in advance
I'm having some issues with the formatting in my page, hence the inconsistent fonts.
Pareidolia Project Day 24
"Butterfly with Patty Melt Wings"
January 19, 2011
January 19, 2011
"No, lady! Please, I'm begging you, don't eat me! I've got a wife and three cocoons at home! I'm a pollinator! I serve a greater purpose in this life! NOOOOOO!!!"
Ingredients:
Cheeseburger patty with sauteed onions, mustard and tomato on sourdough. Normally, this would be grilled, but my mom prefers the bread un-toasted.
Cottage cheese
Green onion
Tomato
Cucumber
Chopped black olive
This was the first time my mom had seen a dish and called the pareidolia object something other than a face. She did think it was a caterpillar until I said it was a butterfly, and she saw the imagery right away. Trying to find which shapes people are tuned to see and comparing that with the complexity is yielding some interesting results.
Unfortunately, dinner received no mention for hidden meaning. Only for flavor.
Cheeseburger patty with sauteed onions, mustard and tomato on sourdough. Normally, this would be grilled, but my mom prefers the bread un-toasted.
Cottage cheese
Green onion
Tomato
Cucumber
Chopped black olive
This was the first time my mom had seen a dish and called the pareidolia object something other than a face. She did think it was a caterpillar until I said it was a butterfly, and she saw the imagery right away. Trying to find which shapes people are tuned to see and comparing that with the complexity is yielding some interesting results.
Unfortunately, dinner received no mention for hidden meaning. Only for flavor.
"It Keeps the Snails off the Food"
January 19, 2011
Ingredients:
1) Black beans
Tomato
Onion
Cilantro
Cumin
Sour cream
Lime juice . I kept it whole in case I could have done something with it. In retrospect, I should have.
2) Pasta
Instant. Buy a mix, use the recipe on the back.
3) Salisbury steak
Make a long hamburger patty and poach it in gravy, onions and mushrooms
4) Ladybug
Tomato
Chopped black olive
Sour cream
I went for something subtle again. I didn't overtake the whole dish with a single image. The Salisbury steak I gave her was kind of shaped like a brain. I could have gone for a different scene entirely.
This was kind of an homage to "The Jerk". There's a line in there where Navin complains that there were snails on the food and that a fancy place like where they were eating would be able to keep the snails off the food. You do kind of have to wonder what people were thinking when they invented escargot, but it's damn tasty!
I figured ladybugs are the cutest of all bugs, and I know they're a favorite of mom's, but she didn't say anything.
1) Black beans
Tomato
Onion
Cilantro
Cumin
Sour cream
Lime juice . I kept it whole in case I could have done something with it. In retrospect, I should have.
2) Pasta
Instant. Buy a mix, use the recipe on the back.
3) Salisbury steak
Make a long hamburger patty and poach it in gravy, onions and mushrooms
4) Ladybug
Tomato
Chopped black olive
Sour cream
I went for something subtle again. I didn't overtake the whole dish with a single image. The Salisbury steak I gave her was kind of shaped like a brain. I could have gone for a different scene entirely.
This was kind of an homage to "The Jerk". There's a line in there where Navin complains that there were snails on the food and that a fancy place like where they were eating would be able to keep the snails off the food. You do kind of have to wonder what people were thinking when they invented escargot, but it's damn tasty!
I figured ladybugs are the cutest of all bugs, and I know they're a favorite of mom's, but she didn't say anything.
Pareidolia Project Day 23
"If you gaze too long into an abyss..."
"...the abyss will gaze back into you." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Tuna Salad Abyss"
January 18, 2011
Ingredients:
Tuna salad. Included jalapeno, lemon pepper sauce, onion and cucumber
Tomato
Cucumber
Swiss cheese singles
Chopped black olive
Mixed greens
Kosher dill pickle
Tuna salad. Included jalapeno, lemon pepper sauce, onion and cucumber
Tomato
Cucumber
Swiss cheese singles
Chopped black olive
Mixed greens
Kosher dill pickle
Now I was starting to experiment more with the art. She noticed faces again, but no context.
This is one of my favorites because of some of the negative colors as well as the concept of mirror agnosia. Her food was no longer staring at her, it was staring at itself and not understanding what it was seeing. Deep, huh?
Pareidolia Project Day 22
"German Food Vampire"
January 17, 2011
Ingredients:
Sauerkraut carmelized in butter and onion
German potato salad (potato, bacon, whole grain mustard, onion, vinegar, salt/pepper and sugar)
Beets
Smoked turkey sausage. Yes, I know Jenny-O isn't real German sausage, but it was on sale.
Sour cream
Pimento from green olive (eyes)
I kind of feel like this is what Goofy would look like if he were to suddenly turn into a vampire. I could just see it now. Mickey and Minnie are walking down the boardwalk in Disneyland's Imaginationland on a nice romantic night. Suddenly, Goofy walks up. Mickey extends his hand for a greeting, and Goody, with the speed of the wind, breaks his neck and begins to feed. Minnie screams in abject horror and is paralyzed momentarily with fear. As Goofy seems distracted, she scrambles for an exit, but Goofy stops her.
"Gorsh! I wanna suck your blood, Minnie! Join us! Hyuk!" He says as he gazes into her eyes. It's too late for her now. She has become one of them.
One of my friends saw a similarity between this and goatse. If you aren't familiar with goatse, do yourself a favor and don't become familiar with it. Ever. Just, don't even ask about it, don't google it and put it out of your mind forever.
Now that you have ignored my instructions, that image is permanently scarred in your brain. You will begin to see it in everything, but I didn't have any intent to sculpt it into my mother's food. However, I did let my friend who suggest it know that I would be happy to cook for her and her husband sometime.
Mom saw another face in this.
Sauerkraut carmelized in butter and onion
German potato salad (potato, bacon, whole grain mustard, onion, vinegar, salt/pepper and sugar)
Beets
Smoked turkey sausage. Yes, I know Jenny-O isn't real German sausage, but it was on sale.
Sour cream
Pimento from green olive (eyes)
I kind of feel like this is what Goofy would look like if he were to suddenly turn into a vampire. I could just see it now. Mickey and Minnie are walking down the boardwalk in Disneyland's Imaginationland on a nice romantic night. Suddenly, Goofy walks up. Mickey extends his hand for a greeting, and Goody, with the speed of the wind, breaks his neck and begins to feed. Minnie screams in abject horror and is paralyzed momentarily with fear. As Goofy seems distracted, she scrambles for an exit, but Goofy stops her.
"Gorsh! I wanna suck your blood, Minnie! Join us! Hyuk!" He says as he gazes into her eyes. It's too late for her now. She has become one of them.
One of my friends saw a similarity between this and goatse. If you aren't familiar with goatse, do yourself a favor and don't become familiar with it. Ever. Just, don't even ask about it, don't google it and put it out of your mind forever.
Now that you have ignored my instructions, that image is permanently scarred in your brain. You will begin to see it in everything, but I didn't have any intent to sculpt it into my mother's food. However, I did let my friend who suggest it know that I would be happy to cook for her and her husband sometime.
Mom saw another face in this.
Pareidolia Project Day 21
"Salad Hiding in the Land of Sandwiches"
January 16, 2011
January 16, 2011
Ingredients:
Grilled cheese with turkey and tomato
Mixed Greens
Pickle
Jalapeno and chopped black olive (eyes)
Cottage cheese with salsa
This was a fairly light lunch of a small salad and half a sandwich. Mom didn't notice this, which is exactly what the salad was hoping for. Dinner, however was a far more serious matter.
Grilled cheese with turkey and tomato
Mixed Greens
Pickle
Jalapeno and chopped black olive (eyes)
Cottage cheese with salsa
This was a fairly light lunch of a small salad and half a sandwich. Mom didn't notice this, which is exactly what the salad was hoping for. Dinner, however was a far more serious matter.
"Angry Potato Odin and his Green Bean Beard"
January 16, 2011
January 16, 2011
Ingredients:
Potatoes. Thin sliced and baked in layers with cream, jalapeno, butter and seasonings. Not quite scalloped, but not quite not, either.
Sour cream
Pearl onions and chopped black olive
French cut green beans with onion and Tabasco.
I do cook vegetarian food on occasion. This is especially true in times when I need to save money, because most veggies are really cheap. I think a ten-pound bag of potatoes is a particularly good investment for cooking on a budget. Potatoes are very versatile, nutritious, and tasty. They also make for a good head of hair on the mighty Odin. Mom noticed Odin, but could not gauge his expression, referring to him once again as a face.
Potatoes. Thin sliced and baked in layers with cream, jalapeno, butter and seasonings. Not quite scalloped, but not quite not, either.
Sour cream
Pearl onions and chopped black olive
French cut green beans with onion and Tabasco.
I do cook vegetarian food on occasion. This is especially true in times when I need to save money, because most veggies are really cheap. I think a ten-pound bag of potatoes is a particularly good investment for cooking on a budget. Potatoes are very versatile, nutritious, and tasty. They also make for a good head of hair on the mighty Odin. Mom noticed Odin, but could not gauge his expression, referring to him once again as a face.
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